My Brother, the Orchid
A possible example of the Differential Susceptibility Hypothesis
Meth is a helluva drug. I wouldn’t know, but my brother does.
Before discovering meth, my brother was the sweetest kid.
Okay, that’s not true. He was a little shit, sometimes—used to chase me around the house with a hockey stick or his slingshot. But he’d be the first to defend me if I ever needed help.
It’s all I can do not to cry as I type this. The tingle in my nose is a warning of the avalanche of emotions teetering on the next clap of nostalgia.
His hair was blonde. Not dishwater blond or strawberry or platinum. It was a beautiful soft yellow and lay in gentle curls around his chin. Then some ignorant girl hollered that she didn’t know I had a little sister and he begged my mother to cut his hair short. Up until that point, he was happy to let me dress him up and paint his nails.
Sam is three years younger than me. In school, I was the over-achiever. Sam did fine in school, but he didn’t enjoy it the way I did. He’d rather fill his free time with shooting the snakes in our backyard or spray-painting a wall that wasn’t his to paint. Because of this, he got a nasty lie stuck in his head—he wasn’t smart. I helped stick that burr in his brain when I’d get mad at him and call him stupid. Siblings can be terrible to one another.
But Sam is incredibly smart. He knows how the world works and how to live in it without compromising who you are better than anyone else I know.
I recently started watching the Showtime series Shameless. You know Carl, the younger brother who likes to microwave Barbies and loves weapons? He’s also the character who fights the hardest for his loved ones and does the unthinkable but necessary acts that would make other people puke. That’s Sam.
In 2017, at the age of 28, Sam was in a very bad place. He was sick and addicted. His loved ones were suffering.
And then they were gone. I was afraid I was going to lose him.
But Sam has a tenacity that is at once inspiring and frightening, the way you might react to a great show of power by someone who you are fairly certain is insane.
There were no other resources for him, no programs or leg-ups. He stuck a dirty and calloused middle finger up in the air, said goodbye to New Mexico, where we had grown up, and took off to Colorado with absolutely nothing to his name and just enough gas to make the one-way trip.
My brother may have not consciously thought to himself that his struggles were due to the environment that he was in. But what he did do was decide that he wasn’t going to stay in that environment any longer. Leaving New Mexico was a turning point. His struggles didn’t stop there but neither did he.
In the six years since leaving New Mexico, my baby brother got sober, stabilized his life, found a good woman who would tolerate and support his pie-in-the-sky goals, and worked his ass off.
Today, he owns his own business, makes six figures, and, true to his “I’ve got your back no matter what” nature, is most proud of the way he can support his family.
My mind is blown. What would lead someone to destroy themselves the way he did, and then run headlong into success? I am truly in awe of how far he has come.
My brother’s life has been nothing shy of a tragic thriller. You know, the kind where the protagonist you are rooting for is a sort of anti-hero. Stay tuned—Sam and I will be working together on his memoir soon.
The Science
I believe Sam is an orchid. He’s the kind of flower that is sensitive to his environment but is unique, beautiful, and rare. I’m sure he would hate me saying this. He rides a motorcycle, is a truck driver, and has tattoos over most of his body. A delicate flower is not quite the image he portrays.
Jay Belsky1 put forth a developmental theory that some people are like dandelions—you can put them in any environment and they will still grow into healthy, stalky dandelions. They will grow through the cracks of the sidewalk in the most rundown neighborhood as quickly as they would grow in the lush manicured garden behind a millionaire’s home. They are weeds, but boy are they hearty. No matter what you throw at them, they will stand their ground.
On the other hand, some people are like orchids. They are sensitive and require just the right light and temperature to thrive. If they are not in the right environment, they will wither quickly and die. But, if given what they need, they will thrive.
This theory, also known as the Differential Susceptibility Hypothesis, has been supported by years of research. Perhaps the most compelling evidence comes from the framework of gene-environment interactions2, or epigenetics, which posits that genetic influences, such as those that govern HPA axis functioning and executive functioning capacity, can be turned on or off by environmental influences.
Sam may have a genetic sensitivity, such as a long repeat allelic variation of the DRD4 gene, which is responsible for the reception of dopamine3. This is one of several genetic variants that have been linked to novelty-seeking and psychiatric disorders. 4
But I don’t know this for sure. I’m speculating.
Sam could be a dandelion. Perhaps his life trajectory shows that it was his hearty lack of susceptibility that made him tough enough to endure all that he went through and tough enough to endure the risk that was necessary for the rewards he has hard-won.
Perhaps.
But I’ve seen him when he’s surrounded by doubt, pain, barren dirt, and expectations of failure. When the people closest in his life are the worst for him because they can’t seem to get their own lives together and want to drag him down with them.
He’s a different person. He’s angry, defeated, and fatalistic.
I’ve seen him too, as he is now when he’s surrounded by people who believe in him, encourage him, celebrate him, and look up to him. When he’s had employers who said that he was the best crew member they’d ever had and friends who ask him for advice. When he’s appreciated and cheered on, this man shines.
Mindful Moment
I once asked the primary investigator of a study I was working on, “So do we want to tell the orchid kids to dandelion up so they can survive when their home environments are dismal? Or do we want the dandelion kids to orchid up when their home environments are wonderful and they don’t seem to be letting all that love and support soak in?”
The investigator shook her head. “We accept them for who they are.”
Mindfulness is more than a narrow scope of the immediate here and now. Mindfulness also entails zooming out, taking a holistic view of the myriad of influences over time that have made conditions what they are, without judgment.
When Sam called to tell me the good news about his business, I felt emotions that are hard for me to describe. Of course I am proud of him. Of course I am happy for him. And, if I’m being honest, of course I’m a tad bit envious of his success.
But I also felt a sense of relief and wonder: Relief that my brother’s perseverance means he won’t struggle financially; wonder at his courage to take the risk of starting his own business and see it through the uncertainty.
Mood of the Moment
Sam and I have always said he’s Bart and I’m Lisa. This could literally have been us:
Belsky, J., & Pluess, M. (2009). Beyond diathesis stress: Differential susceptibility to environmental influences. Psychological Bulletin, 135(6), 885–908. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017376
Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J., & Van IJzendoorn, M. H. (2007). Research Review: Genetic vulnerability or differential susceptibility in child development: the case of attachment. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 48(12), 1160–1173. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2007.01801.x
Propper, C., Moore, G. A., Mills-Koonce, W. R., Halpern, C. T., Hill-Soderlund, A. L., Calkins, S. D., Carbone, M. A., & Cox, M. (2008). Gene–Environment Contributions to the Development of Infant Vagal Reactivity: The Interaction of Dopamine and Maternal Sensitivity. Child Development, 79(5), 1377–1394. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01194.x
Domschke K. Clinical and molecular genetics of psychotic depression. Schizophr Bull. 2013 Jul;39(4):766-75. doi: 10.1093/schbul/sbt040. Epub 2013 Mar 19. PMID: 23512949; PMCID: PMC3686457.