First date as Interview
A call for application submissions
The Job Posting
Position:
Romantic Partner
The employer seeks a committed, monogamous romantic partner to add joy and contentment to their life. The employer has many commitments and is looking for an experienced and dedicated partner who is ready to hit the ground running. The ideal candidate can work independently in a slow-paced and cozy environment most of the time and a loud, energetic environment some of the time.
Effective Date:
Open until filled
Time commitment: Part-time (10 hours per week minimum) to start, with potential for full-time employment. Nights and weekends are required.
Anticipated start date: September 2026
Required Qualifications:
Aged 21+
Demonstrated skills in providing sensual pleasure, including foot massages, clitoral stimulation, eye contact, and kissing.
Seeks to understand before seeking to be understood.
Responsible for paying your own bills, including housing and transportation
Clean criminal record
A wicked sense of humor that is never targeted at your romantic partner
Flexibility in thinking, planning, organizing, and executing day-to-day plans
Applied care to personal hygiene
Highly coachable. Welcomes feedback on performance and proactively seeks professional development.
Demonstrated commitment to finishing tasks that have been started according to predetermined specifications
Track record of humility, self-reflection, and interest in personal growth
Demonstrated values of integrity, accountability, and honesty
Sensitivity to issues affecting marginalized populations, including women, children, minorities, and low-socioeconomic status individuals
History of successful relationship conflict navigation
Preferred Qualifications:
Aged 40+
Vasectomy
Divorced
Parent
Resides in Southern California with no desire to live anywhere else
Understands the difference between chivalry and misogyny
Values formal education
Actively participates in service to the community
Not allergic to cats
Duties:
Minimum of weekly date nights—some in, some out
Participate in co-created activities
Maintain a consistent line of communication
Actively engage in cleaning up after yourself and maintaining a safe and presentable living space
Watch movies, play games, and spend leisure time with partner outside of sexual duties
Provide regular sexual pleasure to your partner per their specifications, and clearly and warmly communicate your own needs
Contribute to date night planning, future planning, and vacation planning activities
Accompany partner to social events. Invite partner to social events
Maintain an atmosphere of trust, relaxation, and dependability
Benefits:
The successful candidate will gain a partner dedicated to mutual happiness as well as individual growth. This position includes frequent massages and occasional prepared meals. Nightly or as-needed vent sessions and daydream collaboration are provided. Communication is a key value. Performance evaluations are delivered in-the-moment with direct feedback and the opportunity for reflection and negotiation. Feeling appreciated, cared for, and supported are all expectations of the employer, as well as standard benefits of employment.
Tips for a successful application
Avoid sending dick pics
Do not expect constant, instant communication. The employer is busy and expects applicants to be as well. Do respond appropriately and promptly to urgent requests
Proactively ask questions with curiosity
Dress comfortably and do not comment on the employer’s attire.
Evaluation Process
Employer will review applications for completeness and will correspond with the applicant to fill any gaps in the job application
An initial interview will be set up in a public location convenient to the employer. The applicant must initiate this and pay for all expenses of the agreed upon activity
If the applicant passes the initial interview stage, the employer will set up a second interview within a week of the first interview
The second interview will assess potential for intimacy and a vibe check beyond the first impression. All expenses will again be paid by the applicant, though the location may be convenient to both the applicant and the employer
If the applicant passes the second interview, a contract of expectations for employment will be co-created and agreed upon by both parties
Upon agreement of contract terms, a three-month trial period will begin. This is the training phase. If at any time the terms of the contract are broken or either party wishes to disengage from the arrangement, this needs to be clearly communicated without malice and with respect
Finally, this is an at-will position. At this time, the employer cannot accommodate applicants who are in-between jobs or living situations, have just gotten out of a bad relationship, or who do not understand without exception that the employer’s children will always come first.
Please watch the following video prior to applying:
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I love how funny this is but also like lowkey GENIUS for giving you such a clear list of non-negotiables 🌹
I’m obsessed with this and with you